Homer Simpson Suppressed
My album--Irony Lives!--is dedicated to Ken Kesey.  It was recorded
on February 16, 2002 at Genghis Cohen in Los Angeles.

Dan Castellaneta, who does the voice of Homer on The Simpsons, graciously
agreed to introduce my performance, which he did from an offstage microphone
in order to maintain the image of that blustery cartoon character.

However, the folks at Fox TV wanted to hear the whole album before granting
permission to include the introduction, and they asked for seven copies of
the CD.

Finally, on June 7, I was informed by an attorney for Artemis Records that,
"Unfortunately, Fox declined our request, and in doing so failed to go into
any detail as to what their reasons were."

Well, Fox may own Homer Simpson's voice--when it's done by Dan, that is--but
they do not own the following transcript of his introduction.

And now I'd like to introduce Homer introducing me...

                    *  *  *


Hello.  I'm Homer Simpson.
There have been many great counter culture heroes I have admired over the
years.  Steve McQueen, Dr. Demento, Dr. Denis Leary and Wavy Gravy.  Mmmmm

But even some counter culture heroes go too far and step over that line
between dissent and in-dissent...cy.

I'm speaking of Paul Krassner.

The first problem I have with Paul Krassner is that the only good song he
wrote for The Jefferson Airplane was, "Crown of Creation."  And even then
his name is spelled K-a-n-t-n-e-r even though it is pronounced Krassner.

I also have a problem with the fact that he is an atheist.  If there is no
God then who has placed a pox on me and mocks me every day?  Of whom do I
live in fear and mortal terror?  Buddha?  I think not.  He¹s way over in
China where thankfully he can't get at me.

I have a problem with his constant use of words such as "penis"  "Larry
Flynt"  "premature"  "ejaculation"  "CIA" and on several occasions he has been
known to use the words "Bush" and "Bush Jr." in mixed company.  Did I
mention "penis"?  Yeah, here it is--"penis" (Laughs).  (To self) Penis.

Let's see, where was I?  I mentioned, "penis" "gravy"  "Buddha" "God"
"Jefferson Airplane"...

No.  That's it...

Will everyone plese put their hands together for that raving unconfined
nut...here's hoping he opens with "Crown of Creation"...Paul Krassner.